Amtgardian Pie

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Mind you this was the first draft written by Myself and Domnu X both of Astral Winds. This was the first draft, and I have lost the later drafts... sad...

'Amtgardian Pie' sung to the tune of American Pie by Don McLean

A long long time ago
In a desert far away
Some Texans got really bored
So they took some foam and PVC and recreated D&D
To try and get rid of some fat
At first the public response didn't thrill us
Comics shops closed their doors
and the SCA tried to kill us
we ran away en masse
and came back with foam bats
We took our cores from the greens
had some wars and elected queens
Just had some fun in the sun
and thus amtgard began

(Chorus)
My My this amtgardia guy
May be ruler when he's cooler
now he's just newbi
he took his swords and kissed his dice goodbye
singing soon I'm gonna be an amt guy
soon I'm gonna be an amt guy

Did you know they have amtgard slaves
They're called squires, or sometimes page
but they can fight I hear
Oh did you see our bard hitting on the queen
though he's 35 and she's just 18
yeah she's probly gonna master him someday
Well I know we built seige weapons to go
and I've seen how fast the arrows can flow
but we are broke it's true
so we drove a bus or two
Well he was a pre-pubescent fight'in ace
and the minute GoldCrest started off that race
well, i knew who'd win first place
oh yes, it was our boy
and we were singing

(Chorus)
My My this amtgardia guy
May be ruler when he's cooler
now he's just newbi
he took his swords and kissed his dice goodbye
singing soon I'm gonna be an amt guy
soon I'm gonna be an amt guy

We finally got to Dragonspine
The king we had come to find
To see how strong his forces would be
So fought them there and tucked our tails
Their forces were off the scales
We'd need someone strong to lead us to victory
Well Wetlands was not impressed of course
How could they beat this, overwhelming force?
They interviewed some kids
Oh, training they did
But, Randall sensed in them much fear
and Aramithris said now listen hear
just stick it in your little beard
We will, We’ll win this war
and he was singing

(Chorus)
My My this amtgardia guy
May be ruler when he's cooler
now he's just newbi
he took his swords and kissed his dice goodbye
singing soon I'm gonna be an amt guy
soon I'm gonna be an amt guy

We caught a ride to dragonspine
when we could not afford to fly
I frankly would have liked to stay
and we all fought in that epic war
and it wasn't long at all before
Aramithris, sluffed a shot and saved the day
In the end some archers died
some bards blew up and
some scouts were fried
A lot of bows were broken
some spellcasters were croakin'
and the knight I admire most
pulled out a match
and his belt is toast
I sat there and watched it roast
and realized, what that belt, was for
and I was singing

(Chorus)
My My this Amtgardia guy
May be ruler when he's cooler
now he's just newbie
he took his swords and kissed his dice goodbye
singing soon I'm gonna be an amt guy
soon I'm gonna be an amt guy
we were singing

My My this Amtgardia guy
May be ruler when he's cooler
now he's just newbie
he took his swords and kissed his dice goodbye
saying
soon I'm gonna be an amt guy

This song is copyright Wizard Cap Productions 2004 to Nic Ulrich and Ernie B.


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