Church of St.Porkins

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Church of St.Porkins

”Anointing followers with Bacon Grease since 2011 ”


Biography

The Church of St.Porkins was created by Porkins of Thors refuge.

Miracles of St.Porkins

During the great battle between Elephants and man, St.Porkins sent flaming war pigs at the enemy, igniting them in delicious slow cooking flame. This new dish of Bacon wrapped Elephant became a delicacy and forever quelled the blind rage of these pissed off pachyderms.

When many brethren were thirsty and had not exact change for a machine that accepted only exact change, St.Porkins bade the machine to accept this not exact change and provide delicious mountain dewed water for his parched followers. Upon the words "Pork Belly" the machine sputtered and dispensed the delectable nectar of the caffeinated gods upon receiving not exact change.

During the arduous and grueling siege of brevity, the villagers of Thor's refuge had enough Bacon to last for 8 days. Thanks to St.Porkins, the mouth watering pork product only lasted one night. Thus are the Miracles of St.Porkins.




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